Dear Friend,

Last week Boo was upset about her shampoo, or something about her hair, I don't know...I don't remember.. but I stood there in her bathroom and explained to her that she was overreacting to something very small. As I talked to her about big things vs. small things "in the big grand scheme of things", my attention was diverted to what looked to be paint on the bathmat:

Me: What's this?
Boo: I think it's paint.
Me: Why is paint on the bathmat?
Boo: Because I must have dropped paint on it. Sorry.

And then suddenly I was mad and exasperated: Didn't I tell you to be careful and not track paint through the house? Really?

And then I heard her laugh, and she was staring into the sink with a slight smirk on her face.

Me: What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.
Boo: I'm not laughing at that.
Me: Then what are you laughing at?
Boo: Well...it's just that you were just talking about small things vs. big things. And the bathmat just seems like a small thing to me ...in the grand scheme of things.

I had to quickly leave the room because I burst into laughter. Outsmarted. And she was right. It was just a drop of paint. It was probably the 5th or 6th thing that day that I'd "pecked" her about. And the kid never makes a real mess of anything.

That incident was part of the catalyst this week for me giving in on the new dog: Getting out of my daughter's way.

Boo turns eight tomorrow. And you know what she asked for? Instead of gifts...she wants dog toys to give to our local shelter. That's not a small thing, that's a BIG thing.

I need to keep staying out of her way. And I need to stay out of my own way. My inner "Wonder Woman" needs to get over herself because I can see where the little, frustrated perfectionist in her has come from: Me. My child can be a great teacher if I pay attention.

As parents, we should allow our children to grow up and become their own people. We should not expect them to be exactly like us. -Kahlil Gibran

I recently bought two copies of Keri Smith's Wreck this Journal, one for Boo and one for me. We are wrecking it together. It's a good exercise for both of us. We do hesitate at different parts...(her with tearing out pages, me with collecting bugs...really Keri?) but we work through it. I have my own copy and I'm not allowed to hover as she destructs hers. And it's fun. For both of us. These are the memories I want her to have. And I'm glad they include another dog.

Love,

Ashley

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