Last week I was telling you about the future being Bamboo. Read it here.
Right now I'm in the UK (yes I know a rare event), I'm off again on Monday to Denmark (long story). It's great to see everyone at AW-HQ and see the progress on so many projects, while I've been here loads of new stock has been rolling in, plus scummy new lines rolling of our bathroom products production lines. We have a steady stream of containers arriving, two at once the other morning and boy is it getting busy.
In Manchester airport the other day I had an hour and twenty minute wait at passport control, and got shouted at by an immigration inspector who told me I was waiting in the wrong spot. Outside there is a big banner that informs you it is possible to get a fast track at a price. I see so give bad slow service and then you can charge for posh fast service.
It was a few years ago but it reminded me of a jolly hairy passport control incident I had in Jakarta one time.. Skip to the deals below if you are too busy, otherwise read on
You will know that when you arrive in many Asian countries foreign visitors are issued an arrival card, a portion of which you must keep and hand in when you leave the country. I'm always losing the damn fiddly slips of paper. Not a problem in China or most any country, they just give you a new one.
I had been warned not to loose my slip in Indonesia, that they can fine you for it (these days it is no problem). But I'm shattered, after only getting a few hours sleep for two days, feeling overworked, jaded and bleary eyed. Working my way along the queue, I'm feverishness looking for the slip. It was in my passport, or I thought so.. I'm going through my pockets, all the zips in my travel bag, checking the passport again. All the while shuffling closer to the border control man. A smug looking American lady with alarming hair didn't help by pointing out I will need it.
Finally it's my turn, I cross the line and go up to the desk and hand over my passport and flight ticket. The guy had a badge with his name on it; Jak . "I'm sorry Jak" in answer to his question, smiling and trying to look relaxed, "I have lost it, I'm sorry, could I have another one please?".
He definitely smirked, I saw him. These officious people annoy me at the best of times, but corrupt officious one make me see red.
He looked at me a little slyly and said; "What are you going to do about it?"
"I can do nothing, you have to give me a new slip, please"
"No" he said "What are you going to do about it?" with the emphasis on you.
"I can do nothing, you have to give me a new slip, please" I repeated, thinking this was getting a bit circular.
Jak lifted a book the size of an Index catalogue on to the counter and pointed to a paragraph in English which had been highlighted. It told me that failing to produce an exit card would result in a 500,000,000 Indonesian rupiah fine, or three years in prison.
Now I'm getting cross, this is classic dodgy cop tactics, scare your victim then sting him. I looked at Jak and said calmly "what do you want me to do?"
"Fifty US dollars" he said without moving his lips. "Put it in the passport"
Sod that I thought, I know it was rash, but I was really tired and not in the mood for this. I pulled out my mobile and took a picture of the paragraph in the book, and another of the dodgy guy, who was trying to hide behind some papers. "Photo's not allowed" he said.
"Too late" I said "and it records as well, what did you say about $50?"
Now I was reckless and I started to pull out all the Indonesian, Indian and Chinese currency I could find, lots of grubby notes worth next to nothing, which I slapped on the counter. "You can have all the cash I have" the American lady with alarming hair was open mouthed, but I could see the guy was panicking, pushing a button under the counter. "I want to see your superior" I cried as another official arrived, scooped up the cash and the two of them marched me off.
"You heard this guy ask for a bribe?" I asked the American as we passed her, but she had that tight lipped don't involve me look and was busy studying her shoes. Oh bugger, I thought now I'm in trouble.
Well, they took me to a back office, sat me down and slapped an exit form in front of me. I realised I had them spooked, speaking in low voices they told me to fill it in quickly, without any request for cash I was marched to a side door given my passport and dumped in the shopping mall next to the duty free. Free at last.
Only when I got to the departure gate did I realise I still had the departure slip in my sweaty hands. They'd forgotten to take it from me.
Maybe I should be happy with our guys at Manchester. Slow, grumpy but at least honest.
More news next week..
Take care.
David
