Bruce Littlefield Dinner Party Talk
 
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Hi from Isolation!
current situation

Our "president" this week rejected calls from New York’s governor that the state needed tens of thousands of new ventilators to treat a mass of patients infected with the novel coronavirus, saying he didn’t believe the numbers were accurate.“ I don’ t believe?!” People are dying and this Orange turd blossom doesn't believe?! He also said: “You want Ventilators & Masks from the Federal Government’s Reserves to treat your citizens? Well, Governors have to treat me well, it’s a two-way street.” Um, quid quo pro anyone? He literally said on the Fox News Town Hall that the amount of aid a state will get depends on how nice its Governor is to him! He is now threatening to kill the state’s citizens if their governor isn’t nice. Perhaps Jennifer Senior in the New York Times summed it up the best: “So it’s essentially come to this: President Trxxp is treating each of our 50 states as individual contestants on The Apprentice — pitting them against one another for scarce resources, daring them to duke it out — rather than mobilizing a unified national response to a pandemic.” Watching him do his press conferences is giving me flashbacks of the kid in middle school who didn’t read the book give his book report and making me feel like a Barbie who wants to cut her hair in the middle of a self-isolated bender.

BREAKING (IT TO YOU) NEWS
Morona

Right in the middle of all this mayhem and madness, the Environmental Protection Agency, citing the coronavirus pandemic, suspended enforcement of environmental rules, allowing power plants and other big polluters to decide for themselves whether to comply with laws. And the evangelicals are all getting ready to go on an Easter Egg Hunt because their "leader" said he wanted to “reopen” the country by Easter because “I just think it’s a beautiful day to reopen government.” We’re in trouble, folks. Talk about Jonestown. Tell your crazy Uncle, he can trust God and still lock his door at night, wear a seatbelt, and change the battery in his smoke alarm. God doesn't like stupid. Speaking of which, a "Covidiot"
is a person who stubbornly ignores "social distancing" protocol.

Defining moment

cockwomble - a person, usually male, prone to making outrageously stupid statements and/or inappropriate behavior while generally having an unusually high opinion of their own wisdom and self importance. It's an English word. Even though our borders are closed, they said we could borrow it since it is so evidently needed.

Get moving!
work it out

Since gyms are closed and most of us are stuck inside, I came across this unique workout I thought I'd share with you. Spell your name and do the workout! If your name is short (I'm looking at you Bo, Jo and Mo!), use your first and middle. If that is not enough - do it three times! Don't spend the quarantine bulking up for The Biggest Loser (or, worse, My 600 Pound Life!)

Look for the good, people!
What the World Needs Now

If you want sweet, listen to quarantined Berklee College of Music students' virtual performance of Burt Bacharach and Hal David's What the World Needs Now Is Love. Really. You should listen to it. If that doesn't make you feel better, just know that Jimmy Carter is redirecting all donations to the Carter Center for coronavirus relief. You might also want to know that Elton John is doing a "living room" concerton Sunday night. That should be cool. But if you want something a bit naughtier, get yourself to Netflix and watch Tiger King. OMG. At the Dinner Party you're not going to tonight, they will definitely be talking about it.

Overheard
▪ "I refuse to go hiking in the Hudson Valley right now. I really don't want Corona with Lyme."
▪ "After a couple of weeks in self-isolation, everyone is going to know my real hair color!"
▪ "Is passover postponed because of the plague?"
▪ "I'm living to be carded at Whole Foods during 'Senior Hour.'"
▪ "I refuse to go hiking in the Hudson Valley right now. I really don't want Corona with Lyme."
▪ "After a couple of weeks in self-isolation, everyone is going to know my real hair color!"
▪ "Is passover postponed because of the plague?"
▪ "I'm living to be carded at Whole Foods during 'Senior Hour.'"

Last laugh
Pure Bread Dog

Can you guess the title of the image at left?

* Picture riddle answer below next to cartoon me.

After you die, what part of the human body is the last to stop working?
Your pupils! They dilate.

Fortune cookie wisdom
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Never follow a leader who is more in love with power than people. - Native American proverb
Hello from Bruce

It's March 28, 2020. I'm 16 days isolated. Scott and I have been doing a lot of FaceTime cocktails. If you need one, let me know. Also, if you're getting wacky shacky, New York has established a mental health hotline. Because our governor, is the president we need right now.

▪ That's a Pure Bread dog you're looking at though some have suggested it's an INbread dog! Call it what you want. I'll say he's a good sport.
▪ That's a Pure Bread dog you're looking at though some have suggested it's an INbread dog! Call it what you want. I'll say he's a good sport.

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