It is important to recognize and acknowledge negative self-talk comments such as:
"I am slow because I weigh 140 pounds."
"I can't climb that hill because I have no muscle."
Let them know that is not how you or their teammates see them. Acknowledge their effort and courage. Encourage their specific efforts - anticipating shifting before a climb, coming prepared to practice, drinking while riding, etc. Watch for when they use words such as "never" and "always". Such statements can be reframed to:
"You tried your best."
"It will become easier the more you practice."
"You are really courageous for taking chances and pushing your limits/comfort zone."
"It is okay to make mistakes."
This very short article offers great examples of reframing.
Refrain from dwelling on their comment and keep spinning and grinning. They will likely say these negative thoughts often before their habit dissipates. IF these comments persist or increase you or another coach, depending on the topic, may want to explore more.
Say something like, “Wow, sounds like you’re really frustrated/angry/upset/etc.” Then ask, "Do you know why you are feeling this way?" "Did something unsettling happen recently?" to find out what’s really bugging them. This will help you isolate the problem, making it easier to tackle.
Watch for signs of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other concerning behaviors. Trust your intuition. If you feel that the situation needs to be discussed with the parents, include the rider in the conversation. Sports is a very powerful format to build self-confidence.
