Your kid is getting older and stinkier. Maybe some blackheads dot her forehead and chin. Perhaps his hair hangs in strings. Maybe the same t-shirt appears in the rotation too many times between washings. You get the idea: Your beautiful child is getting a little gross.
How do you respectfully coach a kid on hygiene without making him feel badly about himself?
Here's what's worked for me with my students and my own personal middle schooler:
* "Gosh, you're getting so tall! I can't believe it! Have you passed me yet? Let's measure." Celebrate the amazing growth, and then, while you're laughing about how big their feet have gotten, throw in an offer for a shopping trip. "Hey, while we're talking about it, there's lots of new stuff you might need now that you're getting older. How are you doing on deodorant and face wash?"
* I keep my own deodorant in the kitchen. I've also got an extra stick in my supply closet at school, and kids frequently see it. This is a weird habit, but I've got a reason for it: It gives me an opportunity to discuss deodorant's use. "Have you noticed that sometimes you just need to reapply after lunch? Yeah, me too. And especially after P.E. I keep mine right here; you can put yours in your locker." It's also helpful to be transparent about your own showering schedule. "Dad showers every day, but with my dry skin, I stick to every-other. What's working for you these days?"
I totally lifted this next one from a teaching pal, Amy. It's the "I'm your biggest fan" speech. "Hey, I've got a tip for you because I'm your biggest fan, and I've noticed that you have so many strong friendships. Now that you're getting older, your sweat has a stronger smell. Have you noticed that about any of the other kids? Well, I want to make sure your friends notice all the great things about you, so I think it's time to get serious about clean clothes and deodorant."
It's easiest at school to have a whole-class discussion, using some of these lines as starters. I'll even say, "Phew! I can tell you've come from P.E. Let's make sure we're hitting the deodorant and putting on a clean shirt, ok?! Ok!" But, sometimes the 1:1 conversation becomes necessary, and these breezy lead-ins work for me. Can you picture using any of these lines? Reply and let me know!