During the holidays, being open and receptive to your partner can be challenging. There are more stressors than usual, both positive and negative, as well as emotions that surface, resurface and crystallize around giving, receiving, and being with or without family.

Presence means slowing down enough to notice where you are, the people you’re with, and the situations you’re in. It emerges from those moments when we trust our own innate being-ness and let go of agendas, stories, and tasks.

When your partner shares thoughts on a topic they’re excited or concerned about and you’re distracted or multi-tasking, consider letting everything go for a moment and dropping into presence.

Ask yourself, “Can what I’m doing wait?” If it can’t, let your partner know when you’ll be ready to give them your attention. If it can wait, stop and see your partner with fresh eyes. Take them in. Attune to their face, their gestures, and their voice. Allow yourself to sense both who they are and what they’re expressing a layer or two below their words: their pleasure, fear, happiness, worry, sadness, or joy. Without trying to fix anything, change anything, or interpret anything, take your partner in exactly as they are.

Give the gift of presence.