I was quite surprised the day I realized my mind wants to be happy.
Up until that point, I had assumed my mind just wants to take me down.
I had always felt like my own mind was my worst enemy, scheming to set me up just so it could take videos and post them on YouTube for everyone to laugh at and then click the "share" button.
But on this particular day, as I sat there in bed crying my eyes out over a recent life development I specifically did not want to happen, suddenly I tuned in to what my mind was saying to me.
It was begging me not to cry. It was telling me it didn't like crying.
It was explaining how it especially didn't like all the miserable thoughts it had to think when I cried, thoughts about how hopeless things were and how my life was over and how I was now going to be unhappy forever.
It didn't want to be unhappy forever.
In that moment, I realized that all of my mind's mean comments, all its harsh criticisms, every single horrid thing my mind has ever said to me has all been aimed at achieving one goal: ensuring I would never mess up so we could just stay happy.
All of a sudden, I saw so clearly how my mind's sole agenda in life is to avoid unhappiness by making sure I am never unhappy so it never has to be unhappy.
For instance, if I didn't say stupid things, it wouldn't have to unhappily tell me how stupid I sounded. If I didn't make bad decisions, it wouldn't be forced to unhappily keep reminding me of those bad decisions so I wouldn't ever make them again.
If I could just be wise and smart and sensible all the time, it wouldn't have to unhappily rub my face in my mistakes to head off any more like those in the future.
I feel for my mind...truly I do. The more I think about it, the more I see how being my mind must be a tough job.
Which makes me feel compassion for my mind...which makes my mind very happy.
As it turns out, I have discovered my mind needs compassion just as much as my body, my heart and my spirit do.
And this makes my mind....and me....very happy.
With great respect and love,
Shannon
