This week I realized that America's train has left the station, and I'm fearful that we're headed off the rails. My hat's off salute to conductor Adam Schiff, though, for his trial leadership and his thought that "If right doesn’t matter, we’re lost." Watch his closing argument and his closing remarks. His closing plea - "I ask you, I implore you, give America a fair trial. Give America a fair trial. She's worth it." Republican Senators are making fun of it and the harsh reality that should rattle us all to the core is, as my grandfather used to say, most of them are as crooked as a dog's hind leg. The truly heartbreaking thing about this for me personally is that there are people I love who see what this Orange Man in the White House is doing and still offer him their unwavering support. I will never be able to look at them the same way again. The man actually bragged this week about how well the trial is going on his behalf and said: “So, we’re doing very well. I got to watch [the impeachment trial] enough. I thought our team did a very good job. But honestly, we have all the material. They don’t have the material.” He obstructed Congress by withholding documents and witnesses and he just told reporters that the House doesn’t have the evidence, “we” have all the evidence. That's pretty ballsy. You can only be that ballsy when you own the Attorney General, a majority of judges, and the entire GOP. But how? CBS News is reporting that senators have been warned: “Vote against the president and your head will be on a pike.” America's reality show has turned into the Game of Thrones, and our forefathers are rolling over in their graves. | While Americans have been distracted by impeachment, #45 and his minions have been up to no good:
* On January 17, Michelle Obama's birthday, the Agriculture Department announced that it would roll back the nutritional standards she championed for school lunches. Conservatives want schools to serve more burgers and fries. Sorry, kids.
* Contrary to his campaign pledge that he wouldn't cut Medicare or Social Security, the Impeached One told CNBC that he would consider cutting entitlements in his second term. Sorry, old people.
* Remember when the Orange said "no Americans were harmed" in Iraq during Iranian strikes earlier this month? Well, the military announced that some Americans had suffered traumatic brain injuries, and he brushed them off as “headaches” and said they should be glad they aren't missing limbs. Sorry, troops.
* The administration is also declaring a drastic reinterpretation of the Clean Water Act that will exempt a many waterways from protection and allow more pollution. Sorry, environment.
If you need more reasons to be both frightened and disgusted, check out this article in The Atlantic. And let's rally the vote. #2020 | We're going to be talking more and more about the Wuhan coronavirus. There are currently 35 million people in quarantine and China is scrambling to build a hospital in just 6 days to treat patients as its health system gets overwhelmed. That's nothing to sneeze at. There are two confirmed cases in America. Cough. Cough. And here's the PSA: It's cold and flu season, people. Wash your hands as often as possible and please keep your coughing, sneezing, hacking, wheezing, and nasal drip to yourself. | Weenus - as defined by Merriam-Webster is a slang word for the excess or loose skin at the joint of one's elbow. It's technically referred to as olecranal skin, but who wants to say "olecranal" when you can say "weenus." Now, I'm going to wait while you pinch your weenus as hard as you can. Really. Try it. Or get someone else to squeeze it for you. You won't feel a thing. Go ahead. I'm waiting. | January, also known as “Write The Wrong Year On Your Check Month,” is named after the Roman god Janus, who ruled over beginning and transitions. He’s often depicted as two-faced, not the insincere and deceitful type, but one that looks forward and one that looks to the past. Kind of sweet, huh? Looking to the past... January is also the month the 13th Amendment abolished slavery (1865) and the month in which the the Holocaust began (1933.) Let's look to the future... and hope we have learned from our past. | You remember those legendary childhood photos you took? You know the one of you and your three brothers in the bathtub? Or the one of you shooting the bird? Or the one where you got caught drinking your dad's Jack Daniels? These people recreated their infamous childhood photos, and the results are adorable and funny. The next time you're together with your family why not recreate one of yours? It's got to be more fun than talking politics or dipping your testicles in soy sauce. Yes, in case you haven't heard, there's a new Tide Pod in town and it's putting soy sauce on one's testicles to see whether the taste receptors in the family jewels can detect the salty condiment. Of course, it's 2020, so why not record your reactions for the benefit of social media, like Tik Tok. How did we end up here? This is our new reality. And, since I'm trying to be in the know, here's my horrible confession: I tried it. I may or may not have tasted salt, but one thing is certain: our forefathers are rolling over in their graves. | One question that seems to be asked at every dinner party these days is: "What should I watch on Netflix?" I've got one for you that I've been talking about all week: CHEER. It's a MUST watch. The docuseries follows the Navarro College cheerleading team in Texas from training to competition for the National title. Coach Monica Aldama, who has won 14 national championships since 2000 is a dynamo and just what America needs right now. You're going to thank me for the recommendation. | ▪ "Why do eggs come in flimsy cartons and batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?"
▪ "My mother doesn't go to concerts. She's deaf."
▪ "There's an ancient curse - 'May your penis hurt when you make love' - I'm sending it your way."
▪ "All the Democratic candidates pronounce 'nuclear' correctly, so I’m good with any of them."
| ▪ | "Why do eggs come in flimsy cartons and batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?" | | ▪ | "My mother doesn't go to concerts. She's deaf." | | ▪ | "There's an ancient curse - 'May your penis hurt when you make love' - I'm sending it your way." | | ▪ | "All the Democratic candidates pronounce 'nuclear' correctly, so I’m good with any of them." | | This week, since we seem to be all about breaking the law and getting away with it, here's one for you: Inside a very chic jewelry store a man was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch. "Shoplifter!" the manager yelled. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want trouble and you want to make a sale, right? So, what do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget all about this little incident?” The manager considered the proposal, decided to agree to the offer, and quickly wrote up a sales slip. The criminal looked at the slip and said, “Hmmm. This is a little more than I want to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?” | There is plenty of darkness, so offer as much light as you can. | It's January 25, 2020. The US Senate switchboard number is 202-224-3121. Call and ask to be connected with your Senators’ offices or one of these* and leave a message saying you want them to be loyal to the Constitution, not to a corrupt president. Demand witnesses and evidence! Write on their Facebook page. Tweet them. Folks, speak up! Really. @SenatorCollins 202-224-2523
@SenatorRomney 202-224-5251
@SenAlexander 202- 224-4944
@LisaMurkowski 202-224-6665
@SenCoryGardner 202- 224-5941
@SenatorBurr 202-224-3154
@SenMcSallyAZ 202-224-2235 Please HAVE YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY & PETS subscribe to this newsletter. Free subscriptions are only until I figure out how to charge! Join me on Instagram. I need more stalkers. | |
