I recently posted this on Facebook: “I wish there was a way to convince people that feeling poorly and being too busy IS the reason to do Qigong and Taijiquan, not the reason to stay away. How many times I hear, I'll be back when I feel better or when I'm not so busy. I get it, sometimes it may not be the right thing/right time, but generally speaking these practices are the one thing that will bring balance to the illness of ‘one more thing’ in our life.” I was surprised to receive well over 55 likes and half as many thoughtful comments.
The post came from my reflections on the trending of these types of responses from students who drop out of class. I don’t solicit them, but I receive them – mainly when I run into former students at Interbay Whole Foods - I think some intentionally avoid me so they don’t have to feel embarrassed! And truly there is nothing to be embarrassed about – we teachers understand this issue more than students may think. Though the myth states we have it all worked out, few of us do and we grittily slog our way through our practice fighting off the “too busy” thieves just like any one else. Nevertheless, teachers and long-term practitioners have learned a tip or two.
We have learned there is an inherent flaw in the premise that states, “if I just get everything done, or if I just feel better, then I will practice.” This type of logic is a big practice thief. It lurks around in our shadows working hard not only to keep us from practice but to keep us from feeling our optimal self. Long-term practitioners have realized this thief does not go away simply because we get everything done. No matter how many proposals are completed, how many rooms are vacuumed, how many soccer games we drive our kids to, its lurking will continue. And so, tip #1 is this: reverse the logic. Instead state, “If I practice, then I will feel better, then I will get everything I need to done.” Make practice a habit because then you will feel better. Sooner than you think, the practice thief will run away and the feeling good and balanced will return.
Tip #2: Practice detractors are not the external circumstances we blame for our woes. What robs our practice is not the stress of this and that but instead how we meet that stress with our own attitude. Too often we allow our equilibrium to be taken by how we think about our circumstances rather than the circumstances themselves. Long time practitioners have learned how to intentionally choose where to put our attention. Rather than ruminating on conditions we may not be able to change right now, we have another interior place to focus on. Our breath, our body. It is almost as though we are actively tuning into a different radio station, switching the dial from KAOS to KALM if you will. It may not not eradicate troubling circumstances but it does temper worry and anxiety about them, giving us fortitude to better solve problems.
And tip #3 is this: Practice will not prevent bad things from happening or change them when they do. How many times do I encounter folks who stay for a session or 2 and when their life doesn't change they drop it or move on to something else. That is not the way having a practice works. A practice must be cultivated and kept over the course of one's life and all that we encounter. In doing so, the process will definitely allow us to become resilience, pliant and elastic rather than hard, resentful and resistant to life's tosses and turns.
More than people I meet at the grocery store who bow their heads hiding are the many I know walking upright and smiling. Its not that the lives are any different, really, on the outside, but there is a joy and a calmness there. I have encountered many challenges and likely still will, but I feel very fortunate to have discovered these tips for myself. They do make a difference and I am grateful, really, to be able to call on them when the going gets a little tough. I am also grateful to have other people who encourage me along my practice way by staying consistent in theirs. In the end I truly believe cultivating a Taijiquan and Qigong practice is one of the most important means by which we can be good to ourselves and meaningfully connect with others.
“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.” -Zen proverb
