If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, connecting with them can be the difference. Talking to a loved one about mental health and suicide can be an uncomfortable and uncertain topic, but it is also one of the best ways to prevent it. We can all use BeThe1To’s five action steps to have these conversations.
Be there
▪ How: Be physically present, speak with them on the phone, or show up in any other way that demonstrates support for the person at risk. If you are unable to commit to being there, talk with them to develop ideas on who might be able to help and how they might support. ▪ Why: Increasing someone’s connectedness to others and limiting their isolation has shown to be a protective factor against suicide.
Ask
▪ How: Asking “Are you thinking about suicide?” shows that you are willing to discuss suicide in a nonjudgmental and supportive manner. The other important part of this step is to listen to their reasons for their emotional pain. Help them focus on their reasons for living, not on the reasons that you think that they should stay alive. ▪ Why: Findings suggest that acknowledging and talking about suicide may reduce suicidal ideation.
Help keep them safe
▪ How: After asking the person and determining suicide is indeed being talked about, it is important to find out a few things to establish immediate safety. The first question will be to ensure that they have not done something already to hurt themselves. Secondly, you will want to ask them if they have a plan and a way to die by suicide. ▪ Why: Knowing the answers to each of these questions can tell us about the imminence and severity of danger the person is in.
Help them connect
▪ How: Start helping them find ways to connect by working with them to develop a safety plan. A safety plan is designed to guide people through a crisis with a goal to keep them safe and get them help. ▪ Why: Connected people are significantly less likely to feel depressed, suicidal and overwhelmed while also feeling more hopeful.
Follow up
▪ How: Make sure to follow-up with them to see how they’re doing. Leave a message, send a text or give them a call. This is great time to see if there is anything else that you can do to support them. ▪ Why: This type of contact can continue to increase their feelings of connectedness and share your ongoing support. There is evidence that even a simple form of reaching out, like sending a caring postcard, can potentially reduce their risk for suicide.
