Dear Friend,

In a recent class I shared about the Karpman Drama Triangle which outlines three roles that we unconsciously play in our lives. The roles are as Victim, Rescuer and Persecutor. Each person has a Starting Gate position. This means that whenever something happens, a person will fall into the role that they are used to.

The stance of the victim is “Poor me” and sees himself as being victimised, oppressed, powerless, helpless and can come across as sensitive. This person constantly looks for someone to rescue them.

The stance of the rescuer is “Let me help you”. He is the care taker of other people and feels good when he helps others sometimes to the extent of neglecting his own needs. Rescuers are often tired, harried, overworked and caught in this martyr-style while resentment festers underneath.

The stance of the Persecutor is “It’s all your fault”. He constantly criticises and blames the victim and can be controlling, authoritative and angry. He can resort to threats and bullying.

A person can switch between these roles without ever getting out of the triangle. Hence a lot of negative emotions are being felt and a sense of being trapped is often experienced.

The good news is there are ways to step out and away from the Drama Triangle. The first step to get out is by cultivating a practise of being Aware, where a person is able to mentally observe themselves in a non-interfering way in order to learn more about the role he is playing. Awareness enables the person to gather data on what triggers that person to start the Drama and which position is being played at the moment. The more the person is aware, the more data is gathered and this is a wonderful condition for Wisdom to show up and make a change in perspective and action. Hence getting out of the Drama Triangle.

So if you are ready to step out of your Drama Triangle, do come checkout what WISE has to offer you.

You are also invited to come join me and some of my fellow practitioners this Saturday 28 July @7:30pm for a Get Together before the Living Life With Mindfulness (LLWM) session starts at 8.30pm. (Please remember to register online)

In the LLWM session, you can ask questions you have regarding the journey of awareness and listen to how it has helped many of us to experience more wisdom and peace in our lives now. If you have already started your journey of awareness, come share what changes you have experienced in your life. I look forward to hearing and celebrating with you.

In grace,
Boon Ling
on behalf of The WISE Team
Newsletter 24 July 2018

Saturday, 28 July 2018, 7:30pm-8:30pm (Get-together), 8:30pm-10pm (Group sharing)

Living Life with Mindfulness. is about people supporting each other; a platform where we invite practitioners of mindfulness to share from their personal experiences on how mindfulness has played a part in improving/transforming their lives. This month's session of Living Life with Mindfulness starts a little earlier than usual and extended to hold a Get-Together catered/potluck dinner for everyone at WISE Centre itself. So come by 7:30pm and enjoy the food and fellowship with others in the WISE community before group sharing starts. See you there! »

每周三, 2018年8月8日至9月5日, 8pm-10pm (五堂课)

正念静坐初级班。 正念是探索及觉醒自我未知的旅途。更深一层的是寻找自我, 认识自性的明确途径。这是个五周附有中文翻译的初级正念静坐课程。Mindfulness is a journey of exploration and realization of what we are not aware of. More than that, it is a clear path of finding yourself, of knowing what you are. This is a Mindfulness Meditation workshop conducted in English with Mandarin translation for beginners. »

Thurs, 9 Aug - 6 Sep 2018, 8pm–10pm (5 sessions)

Awakening Inner Wisdom. Inner wisdom is not the kind that is derived from external learnings. Rather, it is the kind of wisdom that is innate within each of us; awaiting our awakening, our realisation. It is a sacred wisdom that can be realised, directly experienced by anyone, irrespective of race, religion or belief. Wisdom is universal. Through wisdom, life truly begins as everything is now correctly seen with compassion and understanding. Happiness then is no longer an option, but a welcomed result. »

Fri-Sun, 10 Aug – 12 Aug 2018 (3D2N) @ Deruan Damai

Silent Retreat. A privilege for inner-enquiry and realization in a need-to-speak-only environment. Just as thoughts that have arisen and those that have not arisen will have different effects on the mind, so are thoughts that are spoken and those that have not been spoken will have different consequences to the world around us. For that, it won’t be too far-fetched to say that our next moment of experience in the world is partly consequent on how we responded a moment ago. Developing wholesome speech begins when we train ourselves to notice the thoughts that arise in our mind; whether it is worthy of conveying or not. (REGISTRATION IS NOW CLOSED) »

Saturday, 18 August 2018, 7:20am – 4:30pm

Daylong Retreat is a full day event for those who wish to deepen their awareness practice, reset the momentum of your mind or give time to yourself to relax, step back, reflect and explore, do join us at WISE Centre for a day of noble silence to practice together with other like-minded friends. It will be a light and easy day with a simple meal and a variety of activities like short talk, group meditation, self-practice, group discussion & Yoga Nidra – all for your learning. Daylong retreat is another avenue for you to spend time with yourself to learn the workings of the mind you are living with and its relationship with the body. WISE provides a safe space among like-minded community so that you can explore and investigate. »

Fri-Mon, 31 Aug - 3 Sep 2018 (4D3N) @ Camp ABC, Janda Baik

REAL Retreats are our signature retreats that put fun into the learning process. It aims to help you find out who you are and what have you not known yet in a journey of inner discovery. Realization is your ONLY true happiness. You will know once you arrive at it. Undoubtedly you will finally know what you have missed. It is not something mysterious or out of reach. Nor is it something found in the future. In fact, it is what that is missing now. Let the coming REAL Retreat unfold in you as it had for many others. A retreat that opens up to an amazing understanding that you have never known before. Welcome aboard. »

Friday-Sun, 7 Sep, 7:30pm-9.30pm; 8 - 9 Sep 2018, 10am-3:30pm @ BHS, Penang

Mindfulness — A Starting Point (MSP). Mindfulness (Awareness) Meditation is mind-work to transform the mind through Right Views and Skilful Attitude. It is NOT work done by the body/posture nor by objects/experiences. You will be trained to develop wisdom-based wholesome states of mind which leads to a stress-free life. It is as simple as realizing what is already found in the Now, yet unnoticed at this moment. (This an MSP workshop to be held in Penang.) »

Saturday, 15 Sep 2018, 8pm-9:30pm

Enriching Talks by Tuck Loon. Tuck Loon will give a sharing on various topics related to mindfulness and the practice of awareness+wisdom. It may be on relationships, money, communication, spirituality, health and other subjects related to the general wellness of your life journey. These talks are aimed to educate, uplift, empower through the sharing of cultivated knowledge and experiences. Sharing, after all, is caring. Admission is FREE and all are welcome. »

Sunday, 30 September 2018, 9am-3pm; Venue: The Club @ Bukit Utama

Kasih Hospice Charity Fair. This year, we are going to take part in the Kasih Hospice Charity fair - to help raise funds for Kasih Foundation which provides medical, psycho-social and emotional support to patients, especially those who have life limiting diseases. The WISE Team will set up a stall at the charity fair to sell yummy home-made food and daily usable paper products such as toilet rolls, facial tissues, wet tissues and kitchen towels. All proceeds from the sale will be donated to Kasih Hospice.We hope to seek your patronage and support for our stall and the charity fair to help people in need. We will also be helping to sell the coupons for the charity fair so do look out for that. If there are any WISE friends who are inspired to assist us in this project, do give Daphne a call; we appreciate and value every helping hand to warm the hearts of others in need. »

Weekly Meet on Tuesdays, 8pm-10pm

This weekly session, which is opened to all who had completed WISE's workshops and courses, may include sharing or guided sittings to promote a community of practitioners of mindful living, and thus supporting each other on the journey. We strive to get together every Tuesday evening, whether it is a public holiday or not! But if cancellation is suspected, do check our website or directly with us at 017-2933699. »